Rival Kitchen Products

Are commercial kitchen appliances really better than home appliances? Can't you use home appliances to cook in a restaurant? Is that legal?

Does anyone know the song in the mastercard commercial with the kitchen appliances? The commercial is called "Dinner Out" and it's one of the new Mastercard commercials. It has a fancy lookin' couple leave and then the kitchen appliances have a little party with this really neat song playing in the background and I would like to know what it is.

How to build a small commercial kitchen onto my home/? I am interested in becoming a professional cake decorator and I know that I will need a separate kitchen for this. I was wondering what exactly a commercial kitchen would consist of(appliances, tools, etc?). I have tried to finds pics but was still kind of confused because all of them looked so huge. I don't have alot of money and just want to start small. thanks!

I have to kit out a commercial kitchen on a budget. Any help? Dear all. I need various appliances for a commercial kitchen, fabrications, fryers, fridges, freezer, bar fridges, sinks. As the building work has gone over budget I need to watch costs so would like to look at second hand commercial kitchens up for auction. Have tried searching the web but no luck. Hope someone can help Thanks Ian

I live in Oregon. Can you use household appliances in a restaurant? My partner and I are planning to open a small restaurant (on a shoestring) - If possible, I'd like to use household kitchen appliances to start, and then start incorporating commercial equipment as we can. Thanks, Sheree

What is the song in the new sears commercial? Whats the song in the brand new sears commercial? It has a hand changing the appliances in a kitchen.

Are there good opportunities for mobile food vendors in Gulf port Mississippi? I own a very nice 30 FT mobile kitchen fully equipt. All stainless steel nsf approved commercial appliances. wish to set up for two week intervals. Menu could be anything from real BBQ Too fish plates and any thing inbetween.

Why did Sears change the design for their oven temperature sensor? If the old one only makes it through 100000 cycles and your oven cycles once every few seconds when you cook, then how many minutes of cooking would you get from that sensor and shouldn't Sears give me a new one since the replacement costs me $75? They don't tell you that when you buy an oven and this part wears out it's welcome pretty quick during ownership. How long should a manufacturers part last? What do commercial ovens use? Are they any better? This was a top of the line kitchen appliance, digital and everything!

what is the song that is in the Sears book commercial? it goes like I won't be satisfied until there nothing that I haven't tried...the commercial with the women in her kitchen flipping a catalog on her appliances like the refrigerator

What's that song from the Searsbook commercial? What's the title and/or artist of the song in the Searsbook commercial where the woman is in her kitchen flipping through appliances? The lyrics are along the lines of : "Well, I don't know what I'm lookin' for, but I know I just wanna look some more. And I won't be satisfied til there's nothing left that I haven't tried."

Can anyone tell me any specifics whatsoever about this 50's-like TV commercial song I have played here? I would love to know the name/composer/etc and ANY information about this song that I simply cannot find any information on. It seems to be a song that people recognize and yet know nothing about. I believe it was used on Ren & Stimpy but surely has a grander history as well. I have looked through lots of Ren & Stimpy info but I can't find anything about THIS particular song. You know that kitchy music used in old 50s ads? Like what you would hear when you see a lovely dressed woman displaying her new kitchen appliances that make housekeeping so much easier? Here is a link to a .wav file played from my memory that has been created to help anyone in this effort. THANKS for any help out there in unveiling this mystery! http://bullshitabatement.com/50sMystery.wav Thanks, Giovanni

What's the name of this kitchen appliance infomercial product? It looks similar to a George Foreman grill; but it has "wells" that you fill with what you are cooking. The commercial has a older woman and man in it. They cook everything from cakes to sandwiches in it. If you know what I'm talking about please send me a link so I can get one. My husband wants one for a present. Thanks :) To the first answer. No that wasn't what I was talking about; it was this... http://www.asseenontv.com/prod-pages/gt_xpress_101.html?gid=KITCHEN But your link helped me find it so thanks. :) Now that I compare your product and mine I think the one you found is better. It has the insert of the machine I want and more. Thanks

Sears Commercial? What is the song that plays on the Sears commercial in which the lady is redoing her kitchen my "peeling" new appliances over the old ones? I know that the lyrics go along the lines of "I don't know if I haven't tried". I meant to add this, but the beginning of the commercial starts off with a deliveryman bringing a stove into the kitchen, then a huge hand comes down and pushes it into place. Then, the lady precedes to redo the kitchen. (plus, the commercial suggested below does not have the lyrics I'm talking about).

Will General Electric subsidaries NBC, CNBC, and MSNBC ever report anything negative about Obama? General Electric Corporation owns a wide variety of businesses. The company produces -- take a deep breath -- aircraft engines, locomotives and other transportation equipment, kitchen and laundry appliances, lighting, electric distribution and control equipment, generators and turbines, and medical imaging equipment. GE is also one of the preeminent financial services companies in the US. General Electric Capital, comprising commercial finance, consumer finance, aircraft leasing, real estate, and energy financial services, is its largest segment. Other operations include the NBC television network. One of General Electric's largest divisions, GE Energy serves utility, industrial, and governmental customers worldwide, supplying products such as compressors, wind turbines, generators, and nuclear reactors. It also provides equipment that supports oil and gas distribution, and services ranging from consulting and field engineering to environmental monitoring and product lifecycle management. The General Electric CEO is openly a Obama supporter and he wants cap and trade to pass. Why? Not because it is good for the environment, but it is good for General Electric's bottom line. So will these networks ever report anything controversial about Obama?

Ikea commercial in the USA...I can't find it anywhere online...? There's an Ikea commercial with a husband and wife couple...after a dinner party. The couple are in the kitchen...giving all the various implements and appliances an enthusiastic "post game" speech.....imitating coaches after a football game. And finally, the husband does a 'bump chest' celebration with the fridge. I can't find a link to it anywhere online....can you? Thanks! hi melissa and jay....i'd already found that one on youtube before.....but it was such a poor copy that i can't use it....

Poll - what do you think of the never ending gadgets being sold on TV? Ok, so we've all seen countless infomercials and commercials advertising common household and kitchen appliances among thousands of others. There are simply a staggering number of new "makes it easier" appliances and gadgets on sale now. Sometimes its just disgusting how people are just trying to find easier ways to do stuff. What is your ideas on this gadget crap and whats one of the most ridiculous things you've seen that supposedly makes life "easier" yet in reality makes life more cluttered. for me its an automatic toothpaste dispenser. Geez, can't people squeeze their own toothpaste? Do we have to have a separate thing that does everything for us? I think its pathetic.

wanting to open a sweet shop? I thought about opening a sweet shop from my home. all sales would be internet based, i would make the treats at home and of course ship them out to clients. i've been reading all over the internet that you either have to have a commercial kitchen if you want to do this from home, or buy/rent a sweet shop to use. so i had given up for now. Recently though I was looking for wedding cake vendors in toledo, ohio (my area) and happen to stumble upon a website called "toledoweddingcakes.com". come to find out, this woman makes all the cakes from her home and runs her business on the internet. so im pretty confused. no matter what i google i keep reading the same exact things that i stated above...so how is this woman running her cake business from her home? I did ask her if she had a commercial kitchen and she told me no, she uses everyday appliances. help?

Are those long TV commercials made by the same company? The really loooong TV commercials about magic vacuum or kitchen utilities or beauty products all look the same! Are they all sold by the same company or they are from different companies but they hire the same guy to do their ads? ~this *professional* demonstrating *miracles*, and this host keep saying "wow unbelievable", then many customers giving beautiful testimonials, and if it was kitchen appliances or beauty products there is also an audience going wild ~they all say "not for $XXX, not even for $XX, just 4 easy payments of $XX.XX but if you call within the next XX minutes we will make one payment for you, and throw in another XXXXXX which is worth $XXXX" ~even the art templates of their videos are the same, it looks like they are all put together by the same person

i feel used, how would you go about this? Okay i have been seperated from my husband for two years, we married in 2005, he was the one who declared the divorce i went through so much with him. We owned a business and i helped when i could when i was off from my full time job. We are going to 2nd mediation soon and the first time i was nice and agreed to let him keep the house in the mediation and he give me $16,000.00 we all know how that went, never got a call from his lawyer or him and he didnt agree to pay. So back to Square one again, but i have listed everything below to tell me what you think. 2005 - Purchased House and Land $52,000.00 2005- Honda dirt bike $1000.00 2005 Box Trailer $1000.00 2005- 30x40 shop $14,500.00 2005 – Miller Welder $2000.00 2005- Kitchen appliances $ 500.00 2006- Maytag Refrigerator $1200.00 2006- Leather reclined couch $900.00 2006-TV 50 in Sanyo Flat Screen TV $2,220.00 2006-1999 F-350, $13,500.00 2006-2000 F-350, $8,500.00 (SOLD during separation 2008, not sure price) 2006- Tandem Trailer 40 ft. - $6,000.00 2007- Washer & Dryer $300.00 2007- Polaris 4 wheeler $2000.00 2007 1997 Bobcat 853-$12,500.00 (first payment $6500.00-$7500.00) 2007-Skag commercial lawn mower $2000.00 2007- 2nd Miller welder$ 1700.00 There are still some of my belongings in the house, such as personal pictures and family hand me downs that I would like back. I have personal pictures of Nic that I am more than happy to give back to him. I have discovered that there was no JOINT account, Nic made me believe that by just putting my name on checks and giving me a debit card. However I have done my homework and discovered I was never on any accounts. This is probably why I was never able to draw out money from the bank except with debit card with his approval. He did have a personal loan account of $50,000.00 and we paid $528 a month towards this. Also as for Onsite Welding and Demolition this company has been a business loss for the past 3 years. Makes me wonder where we got the money for the 1997 bobcat, 2nd welder, skag commercial lawn mower and other items. I don’t understand if we could have purchased all this why on earth did he not pay the $11,000.00 back in taxes he owed the IRS. Not sure what he was trying to pull. I do have a lawyer and just emailed her all this

I feel USED, tell me what you think? Okay i have been seperated from my husband for two years, we married in 2005, he was the one who declared the divorce i went through so much with him. We owned a business and i helped when i could when i was off from my full time job. We are going to 2nd mediation soon and the first time i was nice and agreed to let him keep the house in the mediation and he give me $16,000.00 we all know how that went, never got a call from his lawyer or him and he didnt agree to pay. So back to Square one again, but i have listed everything below to tell me what you think. 2005 - Purchased House and Land $52,000.00 2005- Honda dirt bike $1000.00 2005 Box Trailer $1000.00 2005- 30x40 shop $14,500.00 2005 – Miller Welder $2000.00 2005- Kitchen appliances $ 500.00 2006- Maytag Refrigerator $1200.00 2006- Leather reclined couch $900.00 2006-TV 50 in Sanyo Flat Screen TV $2,220.00 2006-1999 F-350, $13,500.00 2006-2000 F-350, $8,500.00 (SOLD during separation 2008, not sure price) 2006- Tandem Trailer 40 ft. - $6,000.00 2007- Washer & Dryer $300.00 2007- Polaris 4 wheeler $2000.00 2007 1997 Bobcat 853-$12,500.00 (first payment $6500.00-$7500.00) 2007-Skag commercial lawn mower $2000.00 2007- 2nd Miller welder$ 1700.00 There are still some of my belongings in the house, such as personal pictures and family hand me downs that I would like back. I have personal pictures of Nicholas that I am more than happy to give back to him. I have discovered that there was no JOINT account, Nicholas made me believe that by just putting my name on checks and giving me a debit card. However I have done my homework and discovered I was never on any accounts. This is probably why I was never able to draw out money from the bank except with debit card with his approval. He did have a personal loan account of $50,000.00 and we paid $528 a month towards this. Also as for Onsite Welding and Demolition this company has been a business loss for the past 3 years. Makes me wonder where we got the money for the 1997 bobcat, 2nd welder, skag commercial lawn mower and other items. I don’t understand if we could have purchased all this why on earth did he not pay the $11,000.00 back in taxes he owed the IRS. Not sure what he was trying to pull. i have a lawyer, not sure about all the reciepts but i can remember most things, i do have all the titles to vehicles, house and welders

Mad situation with mad tenants - my legal situation? Hi - this is a very strange one, would appreciate some advice from anyone who has some legal knowledge. I got back the other night and the locks had been changed. Not by the landlord - but by the tenants! Now then, these are commercial warehouse style premises which I hold the lease for, and sub-licence to clients ("tenants") as studio space. Unofficially, they live there, and occasionally I stay over too (although I don't spend much time there). The reason they had changed the locks was because one of them had cooked up some story about me taking their rent but not paying my rent, and the others had bought this story (it isn't true by the way). It seems absurd to me that they should be able to deny me access to my own business (I also rent out genuine studios, storage and an art gallery / photo studio business in the same building) but just wanted the legal situation confirming. I'll be seeking advice from a solicitor anyway, but it's always good to go on here also. Even if this means I have to leave the place (because of a non-water-tight legal situation) everything there belongs to me - all the furniture, kitchen appliances, lighting and even all of the materials used to build the rooms. And obviously I would be taking all this with me! I'm in the UK. Also, any advice on my best course of action would be appreciated. Thanks!

How clean is your house before you clean? Moms....what do you think of this article? Can you relate? http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/dear-whoever-makes-those-cleaning-product-commercials-youre-doing-it-wrong-515559/ Here is an exerpt: "A woman, in a glass cage filled with already-clean kitchen appliances and cabinets, quips that she doesn't have time to clean because she has to go pick up her kids, but is able to wipe up a few smudges and smears without having to use several different cleaners. After she's done, the place looks exactly the same, but she looks tired and relieved. I don't know about you, but my housework workload would not be significantly reduced by not having to switch cleaning products while dusting my bookshelves. For one thing, my bookshelves are too cluttered for me to see the actual shelving and, for another, who's going to scrutinize my bookshelves besides my mom, who gave up on my cleaning decades ago? I guess I just don't relate to these commercials. Who are these women? I do not have snow-white carpets throughout my home and, if I did, I would not smile and sigh ruefully when my child spills a glass of grape juice upon it, because who lets their preschoolers wander through the house with open, breakable glasses of anything, let alone something that stains?"

*Do You Need Office Cleaning? Alana CLEANING SERVICE , TEL. (253) 332-3707 FREE ESTIMATES! Commercial cleaning service •Clean Entrance •Clean all interior glass as needed •Empty wastebaskets and replace soiled liners •Thorough vacuuming of the floor area •Wash vinyl and ceramic floors •Wipe baseboards, doors and light switches •Dust blinds and window sill as needed •Check for and remove cobwebs •Dust all cleared surfaces of desks, file cabinets, work-surfaces •Disinfect all telephones •Vacuum cloth chairs, wipe arms/edges and chair bases as needed •Reposition furniture neatly •Restrooms: - Clean, disinfect and polish all fixtures - Clean counters, shelves, lights, and mirrors - Clean partitions as needed - Remove trash, replace liners - Refill soap dispensers and paper products - Wash floors •Kitchen/Café: - Clean all outside surfaces of appliances - Clean counter surfaces - Remove trash, replace liners - Clean inside of microwave - Wash floor REFERENCES * LICENSES * BONDED * INSURED TEL. (253) 332-3707 Alana CLEANING SERVICE

I need some help translating something from english to french. ? im not using an online translator becuase they dont work 100%. if you translate something from english to french, and then the french stuff to english, you get totally different translations. so i need help from someone that speaks french very well. heres wat i need translated: Set among the crystal clear lakes and flowing waterways of the prestigious Jumeirah Lakes Towers development in Dubai, my ideal house redefines affordable luxury. Located strategically on Sheikh Zayed Road, my house is situated in close proximity to some of Dubai's famous sports, leisure and recreational facilities including Emirates Golf Club, The Montgomerie and several luxury beach resorts. Prestigious landmarks such as the Burj Al Arab and the eighth wonder of the world, the Palm Jumeirah, are minutes away. Indigo colored glass, aluminum and white steel are combined to form an outstanding and unique concept in modern architecture. The roof and a majority of the outside of the tower is covered in solar panels, which supplies more than 50% of the building's electricity needs. Soaring to an impressive 35 floors, my house rises majestically in the midst of an idyllic setting of tranquil waters and lush green lawns. The ground floor features appealing cafes and shops to entice tenants and visitors while manicured lawns, lakes and boulevards coalesce to ensure working in Indigo Icon is a delightful and productive experience. My house rises a magnificent 35-stories and is set among lush, green lawns and sparkling waterways; the perfect surroundings in which to conduct business. The residential part of the tower comprises 272 apartments in a combination of spacious studios, one, two, three-bedroom apartments, and duplex penthouses. Fully air-conditioned, the interior finishes are of the highest standard. Large balconies and terraces offer breathtaking views overlooking the picturesque lakes and wide expanses of lush greenery to the south and the Arabian Gulf and new Marina development to the north. The commercial part of the tower comprises 68 offices over 8 floors. The residential and commercial floors have separate entrances, ensuring residents have total privacy. This spectacular development offers impressive shopping and dining on the ground floor. Coffee shops look out onto landscaped gardens, all within a secure and peaceful community. Encompassing residential, office and retail outlets, this tower offers all the modern amenities and facilities including a fully equipped kitchen with fridge, cooker and dish washing machine; large lap pool / barbecue area; fully equipped gymnasium; Jacuzzi; bars; high-speed internet; six high speed lifts; 9 screen movie theater; and 24 hour security. The bank is in the basement level of the tower, but there are multiple ATMs on each floor. Every room is simply, but elegant and boasts many modern features. There are elevators and escalators situated on each floor, for easy access to the rest of the tower. My tower has a large undercover car park and additional spaces are provided for the exclusive use of tenants and their visitors. My tower even has an employees quarters. My part of the tower is one whole floor. It consists of all the normal rooms that you would expect in a house: a living room, den, dining room, kitchen, bathrooms, office/workspace,and my bedroom. There's even an entertainment center, library, and a game room. The living room and den have sofa sets, coffee tables, and TVs. The dining room has a very long table in it and has a red oak floor. The kitchen also has red oak floors, and it has all the high tech appliances in it. My bed room is very colorful and the walls are covered with various posters. My library is fairly small, but it has many books in it. THANKS!!

What would you pay to have a make ready specialist prep your house for sale ? I have 8 years of experience in Commercial buildings & facility managment. I am putting together a residential "made ready" service for homeowners to assist them after moving out to prep for new owners & inspections I propose to- paint & patch walls, clean& scrub bath & kitchen, do windows, clean carpets and I also haul off large items like old appliances, remove debris or old firewood from yards, trim trees mow grass, whatever is needed to do a custom job WHAT SHOULD I CHARGE AN HOUR OR PER JOB? Although each job is different I'm thinking $65.00 per hour or perhaps a range of $600-$900.00 per job- is that too much or not enough?? Central Texas location Thanks ahead of time for your comments and observations

How much does the landlord have to be responsible for this? I have a tennant who keeps breaking things. A few months ago I had to repair the dishwasher twice, then the third time I replaced it (It wa brand new when they moved in 1 1/2 years ago, commercial quality/size but I had to replace with cheaper model). I replaced it plus needed an electrician, cost me $500. This was last month. Today they emailed that it is not working again. I am so angry. I should've just removed it or I don't know what my rights are. The dishwasher is listed in the lease and they emailed if I don't fix the garbage disposal they can't use the dishwasher. IF I remove the disposal will the dishwasher still work? I am so fed up. They also listed a dozen other things they broke for me to fix, the brand new cabinets in the kitchen are so scruffed up you can't tell anymore they were $20,000 new ones 1 1/2 years ago, and they broke them 3 times, now a 4th cabinet is broken off the rollers. I am crying with anger, I can't handle these people breaking up my house and I can't evict them unless they don't pay rent so they are costing me a fortune in repairs every month plus wearing down the house. This is in Los Angeles. Do I have to repair the disposal again or aren't they resonsible? My appliance insurance isn't even covering it anymore (including all the other new appliances they keep breaking because they claim it's not due to normal wear/tear)/ What can I do? Please help me, I am going into the weekend depressed and stressed out.

What are some things I need to take into consideration about creating a Professional Recording Studio? I currently attend Full Sail University and getting a bachelors in Recording Arts and Music Business, I have 1 more year until im done with everything and need to find a job. I am thinking about starting my own small/medium size professional recording studio. some of the gear would be: Control | 24 surface Pro Tools HD 2 Genelec Monitors Mac computer w/ Pro Tools Plug ins for mastering and mixing/effects DA/AD converters Guitars, Amps, Acoustic Guitars, Drum Set An assortment of Microphones from AKG, Shure, Rode, etc. I would have these rooms in the building: Iso Booth, Main recording room, Control Room, Lobby, Lounge, Kitchen, Storage, Repair room, AC/Appliance Room What are some things I need to take into consideration such as location, supply demand, Price per hour, Deals on recording and mixing, etc. The studio would specialize in Voice Overs/ADR, Commercial/Radio Spots, Small band Recordings, Solo Artists, Recording, Mixing, Mastering Audio. I want to start out as a small studio and eventually grow bigger in the future. I was thinking of just one control room/Recording suite/Iso booth. That would constantly be booked because that room will serve the purpose of recording, mixing and mastering audio. Any help or comments or anything is appreciated. Thanks! *Serious answers only please

Are you Bored? 474 Things To Do When You're Bored - Wax the ceiling - Rearrange political campaign signs - Sharpen your teeth - Play Houdini with one of your siblings - Braid your dog's hair - Clean and polish your belly button - Water your dog...see if he grows - Wash a tree - Knight yourself - Name your child Edsel - Scare Stephen King - Give your cat a mohawk - Purr - Mow your carpet - Play Pat Boone records backwards - Vacuum your lawn - Sleep on a bed of nails - DON'T toss and turn - Boil ice cream - Run around in squares - Think of quadruple entendres - Speak in acronyms - Have your pillow X-rayed - Drink straight shots...of water - Calmly have a nervous breakdown - Give your goldfish a perm - Fly a brick - Play tag...on West 35th Street - Exorcise a ghost - Exercise a ghost - Be blue - Be red - But don't be orange - Plant a shoe - Sweat - Give a Rorschach test to your gerbil - Turn - Write a letter to Plato - Mail it - Take your sofa for a walk - Start - Stop - Dial 911 and breathe heavily - Go to a funeral...tell jokes - Play the piano...with mittens on - Scheme - Sit - Stay - Water your family room - Cause a power failure - Roll over - Play dead - Find a witch - Burn her - Donate your brother's body to science - Ask why - Wriggle - Regress - Sleepwalk without sleeping - Try to join Hell's Angels by mail - Wonder - Be a square root - Ask stupid questions - Weld your car doors shut - Spew - Vacation at Three-Mile Island - Surf Ohio - Teach your pet rock to play dead - Go bowling for small game - Be a monk...for a day - Wear a sweatband to your wedding - Staple - Run away - Intimidate a piece of chalk - Abuse the plumbing - Bend a florescent light - Bend a brick - Annoy total strangers - Let the best man win - Believe in Santa Claus - Throw marshmallows against the wall - Hold an ice cube as long as possible - Adopt strange mannerisms - Blow up a balloon until it pops - Sing soft and sweet and clear - Sing loud and sour and gravely - Open everything - Balance a pencil on your nose - Pour milk in your shoes - Write graffiti under the rug - Embarrass yourself - Grind your teeth - Chew ice - Count your belly button - Sit in a row - Stack crumbs - Gesture - Save your toenail clippings - Make a pass at your blender - Punt - Make up words that start with X - Make oatmeal in the bathtub - Search for the Lost Chord - Chew on a sofa cushion - Sing a duet - Balance a pillow on your head - Hold your breath - Faint - Stretch - Flash your mailman - Teach your TA English - Learn to speak Farsi - Swear in Russian - Use an eraser until it goes away - Disassemble your car - Put it together inside out - Record your walls - Interview your feet - Make a list of your favorite fungi - Sell formaldehyde - Repeat - Ad lib - Fade - File your teeth- Whine - Rake your carpet - Re-elect Richard Nixon - Critique "Three's Company" - Listen to a painting - Play with matches - Buff your cat - Race ferrets - Paint your house...Day-Glow Orange - Have a formal dinner at White Castle - Read Homer in the original Greek - Learn Greek - Change your mind - Change it back - Watch the sun...see if it moves - Build a pyramid - Stand on your head - Stand on someone else's head - Spit shine your Nikes - See how long you can stay awake - See how long you can sleep - Paint your teeth - Wear a salad - Speak with a forked tongue - Paint stripes on a lake - Ski Kansas - Sleep in freefall - Kill a Joule - Test thin ice...with a pogo stick - Apply for a unicorn hunting license - Do a good job - Crawl - Invite the Mansons over for dinner - Paint your windows - Watch a watch until it stops - Flash your goldfish - Paint - Flirt with an evergreen - Smile - Rotate your garden...daily - Paint a smile - Shoot a fire hydrant - Apologize to it - Pretend you're blind - Annoy yourself - Get mad at yourself - Stop speaking to yourself - Be a side effect - Ride a bicycle...up Mt. McKinley - Duck - Redecorate...your garage - Develop a complex - Join the Army...be someone simple - Try harder - Hit the deck - Put leg-warmers on your furniture - Cut the deck - Crumple - Translate Shakespeare into English - Skydive to church - Cheer up a potato - Do aerobic exercises...in your head - Play cards with your swimming pool - Pinstripe your driveway - Play Kick the Fire Hydrant - Harness chipmunk power - Build a house with ice cubes - Call London for a cab - Mug a stop sign - Change your name...daily - Go for a walk in your attic - Challenge your neighbor to a duel - Build a house out of toothpicks - Howl - Wear a lampshade on your head - Memorize the dictionary - Stomp grapes in the bathtub - Find a bug and chase it - Make yourself a pair of wings - Be immobile - Dance 'til you drop - Check under chairs for chewing gum - Squish a loaf of bread - Moo - Bounce a potato - Outmaneuver your shadow - Climb the walls - Appreciate everything - Challenge yourself to a duel - Make napalm - Tattoo your dresser - Watch a bowling ball - Buy some diapers - Eat everything - Begin - Pour milk in the sink - Make cottage cheese - Tie-dye your sheets - Carpet your ceiling - Hold your earlobes - Fold your earlobes - Flap - Squawk - Read tea leaves - Analyze the Koran - Be Buddha - Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize - Plug in the cat - Turn on everything - Drop pebbles down the chimney - Turn off your neighbor - Kill a plant - Buy a 1931 Almanac - Memorize the weather section - Think lewd thoughts about yourself - Blow bubbles - Send chills down your spine - Peel grapes - Make paper from the skins - Bloat - Catch them with your radiator - Get run over by a train of thought - Make up famous sayings - Bite your pinkie- Get your dog braces - Shave a shrub - Have a proton fight - Watch a car rust - Quiver - Rotate your carpet - Learn to type...with your toes - Set up your Christmas tree in April - Be someone special - Buy the Brooklyn Bridge - Mail it to a friend - Go back to square one - Factor your social security number - Take the fifth - Memorize a series of random numbers - Read the 1962 Des Moines white pages - Join the Foreign Legion - Learn Sanskrit - Exist...existentially, of course - Print counterfeit Confederate money - Kick a cabbage - Take a picture - Put it back - Sandpaper a mushroom - Play solitaire...for cash - Abuse your patio furniture - Run for Pope - Count to a million...fast - Make a schematic drawing...of a rock - Commit seppuku...with a paper knife - Revert - Think shallow thoughts - Starch your shoes - Polish your Calvin's - Contemplate a cockroach - Get a dog to chase your car - Let him catch it - Investigate the Czar - Form a political party - Climb a sidewalk - Have a political party - Get diagonal...with a good friend - Ride a loaf of bread - Sharpen a carrot - Interrogate a gerbil - Go bow hunting for Toyotas - Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids - Jump back - Play to lose - Scalp a street light - Have your car painted...plaid - Read a tomato - Sharpen your sleeping skills - Watch a game show...take notes - Put out a fire - If you can't find a fire, make one - Interview a cloud - Play tiddlywinks...go for blood - Play basketball...in a minefield - Don't talk to things - Draw Lewis structures on your ceiling - Have your cat bronzed - Have your gerbil gilded - Write books about writing books - Create random equations - Mispell words - Tell your feet a joke - Throw a tomato into a fan - Sing the ABC song backwards - Pretend you're a dog - Dial-a-prayer and argue with it - Grease the doorknobs - String up a room - Stack furniture - Relive fond memories - Tie your shoelaces together - Gargle - Count your teeth with your tongue - Decay - Find your half-life - Design a better toilet seat - Shred a newspaper - Have a headache - Scratch - Sniff - Hatch an egg - Play air guitar - Act profound - Spill - Spell - Stare - Truncate - Slouch - Develop hearing problems - Put your feet behind your head - Tie bows in everything - Hold your hand - Watch the minute hand move - Grow your fingernails - Pretend you're a telephone - Ring - Radiate - Skip - Play hopscotch...with real scotch - Clock the velocity of your REMs - Put your shoes on the opposite feet - Cross your toes - Roll your tongue - Crystallize - Baby oil the floor - Hide - Attack innocent bunnies - Declare war - Destroy a tree - Hide the scrabble bag - Seduce your stick shift - Wink - Memorize the periodic table - Mummify - Pretend you're a roadie - Buy a Ginsu knife - Collect electrons - Correct typos that aren't there - Polish your neck...use Pledge - Recopy the Bible substituting your name for God - Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car - Drop your cat off the roof to see if it lands on all four feet - Count the bags under Walter Mondale's eyes - Unscrew all the lightbulbs and rearrange the furniture - Found the Jim Jones School of Bartending - Listen for non-satanic messages (i.e. "Drink milk") - Dress like Motley Crue...surprise your grandmother - Dial-a-Prayer and tell them they're wrong - Go into a bar and ask for a Molotov Cocktail - Learn everything there is to know about the Holy Roman Empire - Make a drive-in window at your local bank where there wasn't one before - Walk on water...but don't get caught - Confess to a crime...that didn't happen - Be in the wrong place at the right time - Plot the overthrow of your local School Board - Request covert assistance from the CIA - Discover the source of the Mississippi - Search for buried treasure...in Nebraska - Hot wax the bottom of your brother's dress shoes - Preach the philosophy of Marx...Groucho, that is - Drink as much prune juice as you can - Write a book about your previous life - Serve ping-pong balls...as hors d'oeuvres - Jump up and down...on your alarm clock - Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins - Sterilize your stereo...with Jack Daniels - Carve you and your girlfriend's initials...in a marshmallow - Drive the speed limit...in your garage - Sing the national anthem...during your calculus final - Wear a three-piece suit...in a sauna - Pay off the national debt...with a bad check - Go to a cemetary and verbally abuse dead people - Give yourself a hernia...for Christmas - Defend your neighborhood from roving Mongol hordes - Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster - See if you really can build a nuclear device in your own basement - Go to McDonald's and pretend you can't speak English - Write to your congressmen, senators, President, etc. to tell them what a good - job they're doing...On April 1st - Find the heat capacity of your chemistry professor - Take apart all your major kitchen appliances...mix and match them - Turn your TV picture tube upside down - Phone in a death threat on President Kennedy - Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets - Carry a tune...drop it, see if it breaks - Be planar...but don't tell your parents - Play hockey with your little cousin...as the puck - Make a deal with the devil...but keep your fingers crossed - Put instant concrete in your big brother's waterbed - Give a lecture on the historical significance of cream cheese - Debate politics with a fern - See how small you can scrunch your face- Sell firewood door to door...in Atlantis - Found the TLO (Toledo Liberation Organization) - Play nuclear chicken with a small third world nation - Raise professional certified racing turnips - Give your grandmother a raise and another day of paid vacation - Lead an aerobics class...for patients of the I.C.U. - Go to a drive-in movie in a tank - Go to a non-drive-in movie in a tank and drive in anyway - Send President Reagan an alarm clock...wind it up first - Found a cockroach stable and stud ranch - Send your goldfish to obedience school - Free the oppressed toasters of America - Weave a tablecloth out of copper tubing - Give your cat a suntan...in the microwave - Park your car...with a friend - Park your car...with a group of friends - Frame your first statement of bankruptcy - Place it on the wall of your office - Solve the population problem (x^2 + y^2 = population...solve for x) - Contribute to the population problem - Wear a T-shirt that says "I'll walk on you to see The Who" and a peace sign - Practice the Aztec method of heart removal on your professor - Find out who made the super glue commercials and give them your Ginsu knife - Get Ronco and K-tel to merge...they sell the same stuff anyway - Sneak into a nuclear physics lab and stay the night - Play with anything that looks interesting - Drop piston engines on two people and see who squishes first - See if your goldfish can live in Coors rather than water - Try to ignite water...the Mississippi might work - Draw Venn diagrams...screw them up - State fallacies as fact (like, "peanuts grow on bushes") - Visit the Architecture building...loudly criticize its design - Make a schematic drawing...of a rock - Wallpaper your laundry room...with pages from books you don't like - See if diamonds really do cut glass...on everything in your neighbor's house - Tenderize your tongue...chew on it for a while - See how long you can stare at a fluorescent light...try green - Bronze your sister's turtle - See how long it takes for her to notice - See what she does when she notices - Bronze your sister- If you lose, stop watering it and try again. - Increase your territorial holdings by force - Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat - Boldly go where no man has gone before - Be a threat to the American way of life - Do research into the cause of World War III - Be a threat to the Northwestern Tibetan way of life - Re-establish the Roman Empire...in Pittsburgh

Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products? Liquid Plummer Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages. Windex Do not spray in eyes. Toilet Plunger Caution: Do not use near power lines. Dremel Electric Rotary Tool This product not intended for use as a dental drill. Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter Safe to use around pets. Bowl Fresh Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet. Endust Duster This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances. Baby Oil Keep out of reach of children Little Ones Baby Lotion Keep away from children Hair Coloring Do not use as an ice cream topping. Wet-Nap Directions: Tear open packet and use. Dial Soap Directions: Use like regular soap. Stridex Foaming Face Wash May contain foam. Hairdryer: Do not use while taking a shower. Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant Use only on underarms. Zantac 75 Do not take if allergic to zantac. Sleeping Pills Warning: May cause Drowsiness Christmas Lights Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only. Bic Lighter Ignite lighter away from face. Komatsu Floodlight This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark Fire Extinguisher: Caution: Non-Flamable Earplugs These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe Mattress Warning: Do not attempt to swallow Matches Caution: Contents may catch fire. Pepper Spray Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes. Auto-Shade Widnshield Visor Warning: Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield before starting ignition. Fix-a-Flat WARNING: Do not weld can to rim. Rain Gauge Suitable for outdoor use. RCA Television Remote Control Not Dishwasher Safe Pine Mountain Fire Logs Caution: Risk of fire Triops Fish Food Warning: Not for human consumption Home Depot Treated Lumber Do not consume Hair Dryer Warning: Do not use while sleeping. Road Sign Caution water on road during rain. Camera This camera will only work when film is inside. Road Sign Cemetery Road. Dead End Church Parking Lot Sign Thou shalt not park Children's Superman Costume Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. Silk Soy Milk Shake well and buy often Air Conditioner Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows. Rowenta Iron Warning: Never iron clothes on the body. Slush Puppy Cup This ice may be cold American Airlines Peanuts Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. Nabisco Easy Cheese For best results, remove cap. Swanson TV Dinners This product must be cooked before eating. Hershey's Almond Bar Warning: May contain traces of nuts Heinz Ketchup Instructions: Put on food 500-piece puzzle: Some assembly required. Beach Ball CAUTION: It is not a life saving device. Chainsaw Do not attempt to stop chain with hands. Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. Bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. Bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. Hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head. Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. Packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. String of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children Helmet mounted mirror used by us cyclists: Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you New Zealand insect spray: This product not tested on animals. Blanket from taiwan: not to be used as protection from a tornado Cardboard windshield sun shade: Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place. Infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water. Package of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges: Not meant as substitute for human companionship. Disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake. Bottle of shampoo for dogs Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish. Curling Iron Warning: This product can burn eyes. Hair Dryer Do not use in shower. Hair Dryer Do not use while sleeping. Hand-held Massaging Device Do not use while sleeping or unconscious. Case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket. Do not place this product into any electronic equipment. A toilet at a public sports facility Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking. Pair of shin guards made for bicyclists Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover. Container of Underarm Deodorant. Caution: Do not spray in eyes. Aim-n-Flame fireplace lighter. Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks. Toner cartridge for a laser printer Do not eat toner. 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow Not intended for highway use. Can of self-defense pepper spray. May irritate eyes. Novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock" Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth. A frisbee Warning: May contain small parts. A toilet bowl cleaning brush. Do not use orally. A birthday card for a 1 year old. Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less. Heated seat cushion Warning: Do not use on eyes. Microwave Oven: Do not use for drying pets. Electric Cattle Prod For use on animals only. Can of air freshener. For use by trained personnel only. Silly Putty Do not use as ear plugs. Knife sharpening stone Warning: knives are sharp! Deodorant Do not use intimately. Rat Poison Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice. Portable stroller Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage. Dashboard of a mail truck Look before driving. Children's cough medicine Do not drive car or operate machinery. Sign at a railroad station Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted. Bottom of a supermarket dessert box Do not turn upside down. Package of dice. Not for human consumption. Bottled Drink: Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth. Shipment of hammers May be harmful if swallowed. Manual for an SGI computer. Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers. Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death. Electric Thermometer. Do not use orally after using rectally. Packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain. Turn off motor before using this product. 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame Not to be used as a personal flotation device. Box of bottle rockets Do not put in mouth. Wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack Remove plastic before eating. Box for a car jack For lifting purposes only. Instructions for a cordless phone: Do not put lit candles on phone. Small print from car commercial which shows a car in the ocean Do not drive cars in ocean. Small print from a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert Always drive on roads. Not on people. Bus Stop No stopping or standing. Church Sign These rows reserved for parents with children. Bag of Fritos You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. Credit card statement. Payment is due by the due date. Laundromat triple washer No small children. Sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building Take care: new non-slip surface. Box of Pills Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone. Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11 Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat. Can of black pepper. Instructions: usage known. Bag of cat biscuits Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants. Car Manual In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors. Espresso Kettle The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position. T.V. manual Do not pour liquids into your television set. Label on a hammer Caution - Do not use this hammer to strike any solid object VCR box Instructional video on hooking up VCR included. Toilet brush Do not use for personal hygiene. Black rubber fishing worm Not for human consumption. Orange Juice Can: 100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate. Depend Adult Diapers Step into underwear and pull them on just like regular underwear. Furniture Wipes Do not use for a baby wipe. Stickers to put on the seat of a potty training toilet This is not a toy. Stickers require adult supervision. Lawnmower Warning: When Motor Is Running - The Blade Is Turning Instructions on the bottom of a grocery store pizza Do not turn upside down. Bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle Do not open here. Bottle of bathtub cleaner For best results, start with clean bathtub before use. Container of lighter fluid WARNING: Contents flammable! Box of household nails CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation! Microwave popcorn, packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it Direction #1: Remove plastic. Drink bottle label Do not peel label off. Woolite carpet cleaner Safe for carpets, too! Box of Frosted Cheerio's The logo, "Tastes so good this box never closes," is located just underneath another announcement: "To close: place tab here." Sterno Do not use near fire or flame. Container of salt Warning: High in sodium Hose Nozzle Do not spray into electrical outlet.